Have you been affected by someone's drinking?

Living with alcoholism affects our lives, sometimes without our even knowing it. We often become isolated, estranged, frustrated, angry, shame-filled, put upon, guilt-ridden, fearful, depressed, and unable to have healthy, enjoyable relationships with loved ones, friends, and associates. Some of us become "super" parents, students, and employees. We sometimes disguise our feelings and have difficulty looking at situations realistically. We make excuses for bad situations and behavior and cover up what goes on in our lives. We even deny the problems that alcoholism brings to our family and that our family is being affected. We may blame ourselves. We may feel hopeless when we are not able to make the situation better and end up feeling worthless about ourselves.

You are not alone!

Do you wonder if others have been where you are? Al-Anon has three quizes that can help you answer that question.

The first quiz, "Are You Troubled By Someone's Drinking?" can help you decide whether you are affected by the drinking of a family member or friend.

The second quiz, "Is Someone's Drinking Getting to You?" can be especially helpful if you are a young person with a parent, sibling, close friend, or relative whose drinking upsets you.

The third quiz, "Did You Grow Up With A Problem Drinker?" can help you decide if you are still affected by growing up in home where alcohol was a problem.

You are not alone in wanting a better life for yourself and your family. You don't have to be alone in finding solutions. Al-Anon can help.

What can you do?

Here are some ways to get help and hope:

1. Find and attend an Al-Anon family group meeting.

   We suggest that you attend at least six Al-Anon Family Group meetings to get a good idea of what Al-Anon is about and how the program can help you.

2. Read Al-Anon literature.

   Al-Anon has many books, pamphlets, videos, and other materials that may help you. Click here to learn about reading for recovery.

3. Go to some open meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA).

   While Al-Anon and AA are separate fellowships with different purposes, we do cooperate with AA. Many of our members have learned to better understand alcoholism by attending some of AA's open meetings in addition to Al-Anon meetings. They may be speaker or discussion meetings. You do not have to be with an AA member to attend one of AA's open meetings.

   To find out about open AA meetings in the Knoxville, Tennessee area, call AA's intergroup office at (423) 522-9667.

4. Talk with an Al-Anon member directly.

   Talk directly with an Al-Anon member about your situation. Learn more about Al-Anon and how it has helped. Here's how to call on us. Your e-mail or call will be kept private and confidential.

Going to Your First Meeting

If you are like many of us, you may be apprehensive about going to your first meeting. We understand. You may find the following information about Knoxville area meetings helpful:

• Al-Anon/Alateen meetings in the greater Knoxville area are usually small, informal, with casual dress, and last about one hour. You may slip in and out, or you may stay and talk with others. Many come early and stay after to meet newcomers, talk with sponsors, and socialize. You can also get literature, telephone lists, and meeting lists.

• While you may see someone you know, each person is there for the same reason. We all are seeking recovery from effects caused by the disease of another. Many of us were relieved to see that we were no longer alone.

• Anonymity is very important to everyone attending Al-Anon meetings. No one needs know that you are attending meetings, unless you choose to tell them. The name you use may be made up, or you may use only your first name. Your job, place of residence, and family are private.

• Members of the Al-Anon/Alateen group share in leading the meeting. The topic, from Al-Anon Conference-Approved Literature, can be on a Step, a Tradition, an attitude, the disease, choices, change, feelings, principles, or anything else that would help members understand, recover, and grow from being affected by someone's drinking.

• Those in attendance share their personal experience, strength, and hope by going around the room. Those who want to talk about a more pressing issue may do so. Those who want to listen just say "pass" when it comes their turn. Usually everyone has an opportunity to talk. Each person there takes what they like and leaves the rest.

• There are no dues or fees for Al-Anon membership. A basket is usually passed for voluntary contributions to cover the cost of the meeting room, supplies, literature given away to newcomers, and the group's participation and support of the District, Assembly, and worldwide fellowship of Al-Anon.

• You are always welcome at any meeting you choose to attend. We urge you to try at least six meetings before you decide whether Al-Anon can help you. Feel free to talk to someone after any meeting.

Newcomer Meeting

Although there is no obligation to do so, some of us found that attending a meeting with others just beginning to learn about Al-Anon was helpful. In addition to the regular meetings in Knoxville, there is a weekly Beginner's Meeting held: