The public abuse of sports officials has almost become an accepted part of our culture, as has a desensitization regarding violence. The official is often used as the excuse for poor performance by individual players or by teams. It is commonplace in some professional sports to have a contest among spectators for who can be most creative in criticizing the officials (some say it's half the fun of going to a game).

The obvious effect of this is waning interest in becoming a sports offical. The less obvious, and much more disastrous affects, are the lasting impressions instilled in the youth who watch and ultimately mimic the negative behavior. When adults forget the true purpose of youth sports and behave inappropriately, other adults have responsibility to take action. Ideally, this becomes a cooperative effort among referees, coaches and parents (spectators). Unfortunately, in reality, the referee is often left to stand alone when dealing with these problems.

I encourage referees to be attentive to the "early warning signs" and to take appropriate action before escalation sets in. The appropriate use of body language, a disapproving look, or a quiet word often can do wonders to prevent the sparks of inappropriate behavior from growing into the raging fires of controversy and even violence. Additionally, referees must remember that due consideration must be given to the impressionable nature of the young participants involved. If the environment of the match is not conductive to good child development, then action must be taken to eliminate the problem or to suspend or terminate play. Kids first, soccer second should be our order of priorities. Dare I say "Zero Tolerance"?

It's a tough row to hoe without some support. Coaches and parents have an important role to play in setting the tone and modeling what is and is not acceptable behavior outside the touch lines, with coaches having the Lion's share of responsiblility. When behavior becomes unacceptable, the intervention of coaches and spectators in the interest of maintaining an appropriate player environment is essential and can go a long way in supporting the referee.

Referees are the ultimate "Guardians of the Game", the game we all know and love. They are also the "Keepers of the Flame", ensuring the principles and tenets of AYSO are maintained during the emotions of competition. As my good friend, John Ouellette, AYSO National Coach, often says, "It's a game, a great game, but it's ONLY a game." The influence we, as referees and authority figure role models, have on the impressionable young players who are watching, as well as their relatively young parents, is far more important than who wins the game and whether or not an infraction has occurred. The lessons we teach and behavior we model, during stressful or controversial situations, are what will be remembered long after the won/loss records are forgotten.

It is unfortunate that we cannot look to the examples set by professionals, collegiate or even high school sports for guidance. Indeed, they are more often the source of the problem. Adults and children emulate the behavior they see modeled in athletics at these higher levels and wrongly assume it is appropriate at the youth level. They are our children, and they deserve the best we have to offer. Think about it -- in AYSO, it's about more than the game! What's your contribution?