If you are worried about a friend's eating behaviors or attitudes, then it is appropriate for you to express your concern to her in a loving and supportive way. It is important to handle these issues with honesty and respect. It is also important to discuss your worries early on, rather than waiting until your friend has endured many of the damaging physical and emotional effects of eating disorders.

In a calm and caring way, talk to your friend about the specific things you have seen or felt that have made you worry.

• Share your memories of two or three specific times when you felt concerned, afraid, or uneasy because of her eating rituals.
• Talk about feelings you experienced as a result of these events.

Try to do this in a very supportive, non-confrontational way. Here are three suggestions:

• Use "I" statements. For example: I'm concerned about you because you refuse to eat breakfast or lunch. It makes me afraid to hear you vomiting.
• Avoid accusational "You" statements. For example: You have to eat something! You must be crazy! You're out of control!
• Avoid giving simple solutions. For example: If you'd just stop, everything would be fine!

If your friend has become obsessed with eating, exercising, or dieting, she probably needs professional help. Your friend may be angry that you are calling her on her attitudes and behaviors. Your friend may deny that there is a problem. If you're friend won't listen to you and your concerns, you may need to tell someone else--someone who can help. Consider talking to your friend's parents, a teacher, a doctor, a counselor, a nutritionist, or any trusted adult. Your friend needs as much support and understanding as possible from the people in her life.